All posts for the month June, 2010

I just found out I’m superstitious

Published June 23, 2010 by Hemlock

I had my IUI on Friday of last week and that same week two of the other women on the CraigsList forums went in for their own procedures. One went in for her IVF transfer, and the other went in for her IVF retrieval.

Overall, pretty normal except for one thing. It seems that whenever a group of three of us go in for some sort of procedure that same group of three manages to come out pregnant at the end of their two week wait. I took this as a good sign.

Today, I logged into the forum as the woman who had her retrieval done on Friday was due to have her embryo’s transferred. As far as the info any of us had, it was looking really good. All of the eggs that were fertilized via petri dish were apparently developing on schedule, so it was just a matter of picking the best of the bunch and transfer those over to her.

However, apparently all was not going well. She posted today, that she was in the office, gown on and ready to go, when the nurse and doctor came in to tell her that the transfer was canceled. Something had happened to the embryos, and they didn’t know what.

One of our sacred Group of Three had faltered. This was not good. I sat there, looking at the forum posting, panicking a little. What does this mean for me? The circle had now been broken, I couldn’t help but think that I might be doomed.

The truth of the matter, though, is that there’s nothing I can do about it. Either the IUI works, or it doesn’t. DH’s sperm count was great for what was available (long story), his motility was off the chart, and quality was excellent. So, it’s all up to me, now. They think there’s a good, solid chance of twins on this one… a little bit scary.

I’ve ordered 26 pregnancy tests to test out the HCG trigger shot, and I’ll readily admit that I’ll be testing like crazy after that. DH thinks I’m a bit obsessive, and that I’m just going to make my paranoia worse, but I don’t know what else to do. Something could happen, and I could get an early positive and that would enable us to get a better handle on hormone levels early on. On the other hand if I continue to get negative tests, and it turns out I’m not pregnant, at least I’ve been preparing day by day for the news I’m not pregnant again.