It’s All In Your Head

Published August 2, 2010 by Hemlock

I have a book that I like to use for writing exercises: Take Ten for Writers. As far as I’m concerned, the author Bonnie Neubauer is brilliant. Her exercise prompts are engaging, entertaining, and really allow your imagination to take flight.

The one I did today was quite entertaining to do, as it was rather ‘out there’ and allowed me to pull from my recent X-Files exploits (… The truth is out there …)! The premise is that you are now working for an upstart supermarket tabloid. Due to a lack of funding, the only things available to you are an office chair, a desk, a pen, paper, and a wastebasket. When you ask about a computer, and how you’re to do your research, his reply is that ‘it’s all in your head’.

Well, time to get going, I guess! The rules are that you have to write for 10 minutes without stopping. First, though, you have to randomly choose a number from 1 to 10. This number, in turn, is what really narrows down your particular prompt content. For me, my head line was: “Methane From World’s Largest Cow Single-Handedly Increasing Global Warming”.

Well, then… ok?

What follows is my exact exercise, as it is written in my writing journal. I’ve included the horrid grammar and spelling, missing words, as well as my strike-throughs and such. Remember you have to stop at the 10 minute mark which means that the thought process is continual, and may or may not have an ending, and not everything will be wrapped up in a pretty bow and be ready for publishing. Remember, the following IS NOT actual news, and is all a figment of my imagination. It is fiction!

Methane From World’s Largest Cow Single-Handedly Increasing Global Warming
It has been discovered that a 2-ton steer cow has been discovered single-handedly responsible for global warming. it is common knowledge that cattle produce obscene amounts of methane gas due to their digestive system. These rumminants have been studied to determine if there is any connections to global warming or not, and were though to be innocent. This is due to the fact that they are not releasing large quantities at once. The amount of methane released from the average cow is spread out acrross the day. This allows for the planet’s natural oxygen scrubbers to clean and filter our air. However, this particular cow releases so much methane at once, at any given, that the planet simply can’t keep up.

One might ask how it took so long for this bovine to be discovered, and the answer is that it’s due to a Government conspiracy.

It turns out that the cow, and previous generations, ahve been housed at Area 51. It is the result of years of genetic tampering and manipulation. You see, the goverment has been trying to figure out the best way to feed an entire nation. Veg This is in response to various animal rights groups complaining about how many animals suffer in slaughter houses. The government’s response to this was to simply create bigger cattle, therefore, reducing the number of animals being slaughtered. In the end, on could say it was the activists who are responsible for global warming.

Again, this is all a work of fiction; and very rough fiction at that. The goal is to have fun, and enjoy yourself… nothing is perfect the first time around. You never know when a prompt may start a seed of an idea that will grow and multiply like a virus…


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