I have nothing to prove

Published January 25, 2011 by Hemlock

When Xannatos and I got married it was a small civil ceremony.  Nothing fancy, just family and a friend crammed into an office that was entirely too small for everyone, and though I’m sure his mother was livid, my family accepted it as it wasn’t anything usual for my side of the family.  My mother had been married in a quickie-chapel in Reno when she married step-dad number 2, and Nana got married in a civil union downtown in Santa Cruz… it’s just the way things are done in my family.

Like my Nana, though, Xannatos and I had been committed to each other and our relationship long before any ceremony was performed.  We didn’t need the license to know we were together, or to even keep us together, but unfortunately at the time Nevada didn’t recognize domestic partnerships so we were forced to get married in order for me to get health coverage.

Family Pic @ 'Reception'

Hemlock, Xannatos, his step-brother, his step-mother, and his Dad

Both Xannatos and myself are not big proponents of Traditional Marriage as it’s very religious based, and if you need the license in order to confirm to yourself that you’re in a committed relationship then you have no business being together.  That’s just us, though.

I remember at one point I was talking to my mother about the type of ceremony I’d like to have, she got all offended.  I’ve always been a fan of Pagan and Hand-fasting ceremonies.  They focus more on the respect, bond, and love you have for each other vs. obeying one or the other or proving your union to God and the people around you.

You see, my mother is Christian and very much feels that a Wedding should be fairly traditional and have some mention of God.  Myself, though I was raised around Christianity, but I was also raised around MormonismJudaism, BaptistCatholicism, and Atheism.   In addition to that, one the teachers that I have the most respect for was a follower of Islam (you heard me right… and he was one of the whitest, skinniest, most intelligent men I’ve ever known).  So I come from a pretty eclectic system of beliefs and there’s nothing wrong with that.

One day, I’d love to be barefoot in the middle of an old Redwood Forrest surrounded by the sound and scent of Nature holding Xannatos’ hand.  I just want something between me, my partnert, and the Verse.


5 comments on “I have nothing to prove

  • Great post (and you’re really pretty!!!). I feel like we’re telepathic right now 🙂 I’m just in the middle of writing my “weekly obsession” post and – well – You’ll see tomorrow.
    Being an heathen myself, I always respected the pagan ceremony. Alas, I ended up having a traditional jewish one – but by choice, because I wanted to honor the heritage.

  • Good throw in of ‘the Verse” there. Now if you told me that the cerimony was wrapped up with “and what we join together today, let no power in the Verse put asunder” then I may just have to bow before you.

  • Great post indeed! I love that image you create at the end. It’s so beautiful.

    And thanks for your comment on my blog yesterday–are you serious your mom didn’t get BFPs until that late? That’s insane!

    • Completely serious! I don’t know if the tests weren’t as sensitive back then, or what, but yeah. She said that each time she was pregnant she just ‘knew’ at about 14dpo, but could never get a positive test.

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