I don’t have a catchy title

Published February 3, 2011 by Hemlock

I don’t understand all of the craziness around the Superbowl.  It probably doesn’t help that I despise American Football with a passion.

Complaint 1: I understand that plays are important, but if there is a 200# linebacker headed your way, for Christ’s sake get out of the way… don’t just run in the predicted manner and get taken out.  I know the rules say you can’t run backwards, but you can run parallel to whatever imaginary line they’ve set up, and you can run a friggin’ zig zag!  I mean, my understanding is that the game comes down to a single major point… that of scoring points.  This is where moving in some unpredictable way comes in handy?  I’ve been told this has something to do with the plays and that the only way to protect the ball is to know where it is.  Well, did it never occur to them that they can’t score if they don’t have control of the ball?

Complaint 2: It doesn’t take any skill.  Really, it doesn’t, and you’ll never change my mind.  All they do is run and throw a ball.  Sure, they have to remember different plays, but the game doesn’t require any independent thought.  It’s not that complicated of a game.  Hell, the cheerleaders are more skilled than the players that they’re cheering on.

Complaint 3: Unnecessary Roughness.  Someone, please explain this one to me!  When you’re padded up to the freaking nines, how does that even become a possibility.  I mean, maybe the padding gets in the way and actually causes more harm than good?

Personally, I think American Football is just some strange convoluted government conspiracy to control people.  I mean, think about it, it’s a sport that requires only the team leader do any thinking, while their minions simply do as they’re told and run heedlessly into some sort of danger.

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One comment on “I don’t have a catchy title

  • Brilliant! I totally agree with you. I had a roommate for two years who was nuts about football. I never got it. She even tried to explain the rules to me once – I zoned out about 2 minutes in. It’s a silly, silly game.

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