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All posts for the month March, 2011

Who Needs Titles?

Published March 25, 2011 by Hemlock

Been AWOL for a while, but I just really haven’t been motivated to write anything.  Feeling a bit jaded with life and whatnot.

Good news on Mocha.  She has been diagnosed with Idiopathic Hypercalcemia.  It’s a new, and rare, disease that’s being diagnosed in cats raised on kibble foods.  It started popping up in the late 90’s and has become a little bit more common, but often goes undiagnosed until the cat goes into full renal failure due to calcification of the kidneys due to free floating calcium in their system.  So, she’s no longer in the early stages of renal failure, and no cancer either.  The goal is to transfer her onto a raw diet and see how she does.  Cats that are being diagnosed are essentially being used as Guinea Pigs for figuring out how to manage the disease.  We’ll do more blood work in the future, probably in about 6-8 months and we’ll check her blood serum calcium levels.

Other than that, not much more to report.  I’ve essentially dropped out of college; I just don’t care anymore.  Could be that I’m in a funk and I’ll go back next fall, but I don’t know.  I’m not doing anything but paying to learn things I learned in elementary school, jr. high, and high school.  On top of that, the budget cuts have really cut down on available classes so doing stuff online is getting harder and harder.  As far as I’m concerned getting an education is a joke now.  The kids coming out of college with B.A.s and Masters don’t know shit… they’ve just managed to acquire bigger egos.  Bleh.

My job search isn’t going well, either.  Since I was fired from my last position (courtesy of multiple miscarriages) I can’t seem to get past the application portion of any job so I’m at a loss as to what to do.  I don’t work well for other people which doesn’t help, and I’d love to have my own business but I have no idea what I’d do. *shrugs*  Oh well, not much can be done right now.  Back to cleaning house!

I hate life

Published March 10, 2011 by Hemlock

Things have been absolutely crazy over here (not in a good way), and quite honestly the thought of blogging has made me a bit nauseous. I know it seems like I always write about the negative, but it’s getting to the point where that’s all that seems to happen in life as of late… negative things.

As we speak, Mocha, our 7 year old cat is sitting in a cage at our local emergency vet hooked up to an I.V. and enjoying the narcotic pain killer that she was given earlier this evening. The outlook is not looking good as of my last discussion with the vet. We’re looking at a combination of two things; Lymphoma and Kidney Failure. This will make the second ‘young’ animal that we’ve had that has been diagnosed with some sort of lymphoma, and the second cat to go through kidney failure. Since we can’t get approved for Care Credit, we’ve had to cancel our vacation that was scheduled for later this month and use all of that money to basically find out the worst possible information a person could get.

It really seems like these last few years have been extremely hard. We’ve lost three pets in quick succession (all in tragic ways), we’re losing our home, suffered 5 miscarriages, I got fired (and now can’t find a job because of it)… and a million other little things that all just seem to add up.

I’m done… I’m really just done. A huge part of me wants to give up on ever having children, and I feel like Xannatos and myself are being punished for something.