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Scenic Route

Published February 27, 2012 by Hemlock

Well, my hotel room is booked!

I’m excited.  I’ll be taking a trip to Oregon to get Mocha the I-131 Radioactive Iodine Treatment for her Hyperthyroidism next week.  I can’t wait to go, and I’ll have the dog with me.  That’s the best part, I won’t be lonely!  I’ll have the camera, and plan to take my time getting there (I’ll leave early enough to hit the pretty places during daylight).  I want to stop and see the sights and get my fill of the color green!

It’s snowing here right now, which is nice, and Xannatos called into work this morning.  We tried to get into town twice, but there were so many accidents blocking the highway into town that it just wasn’t possible.  So, overall, today is a good day.  We’ll be going into town later on for some groceries.

I’m finally starting to see limited side effects from the Zoloft.  I’m not nauseous constantly, but it’s still affecting my appetite.  I can’t seem to eat more than a few bites before it starts to turn my stomach, and I find that I’m not hungry all the time.  Maybe some of this weight will come off!

Also, I got ahold of some raw milk!  I’m stoked.  When I was younger I suffered from a severe milk allergy and so I was raised on raw goats milk.  I remember liking it, but when I’ve tried it again in the past I’ve only had access to that pasteurized crap in the store – and it’s disgusting!  Anyways, I can drink milk now, though I do get a little stuffy and nauseous when I do, but I can still enjoy it.  So, when my mom said she found a raw milk supplier close by I was stoked.

Here in NV it’s illegal to sell raw milk for human consumption.  We lucked out and just happened to find someone just over stateline that we basically pay for a ‘lease’ on the cow, and therefore we can drink the milk from said cow.  I can’t believe the taste difference!  Seriously, we drank some, still warm from the cow, and it didn’t have a weird flavor, or smell.  It also didn’t leave behind any aftertaste or any weird film in your mouth like the store bought stuff.

I got curious about the possibility of the benefits for insulin resistance and though I haven’t search hard, I’ve found some promising information!


Wasn’t ready for this…

Published January 13, 2012 by Hemlock

I’ve been doing pretty good off my meds.  Having bad days here and there, but today was a pretty bad day.  I was struggling with dwelling on things, and it took some serious effort to even get dressed this morning/afternoon when I got up.

So far, I’ve done pretty good when it comes to reading blogs, though I admit that I no longer get notifications when a new blog is posted.  This way I can view them when I’m ready vs. having my Inbox blast various announcements at me.  It’s worked thus far.  

I read MO’s latest blog (and I’m very happy for her), and I think it’s amazing how she’s trying her hardest to be considerate of her Facebook friends who are going through, or have struggled with, IF and whatnot.  It’s still a bit rough to read, but it was very sweet, and really just shows what an amazing person she is (and what an amazing Mom she’s going to be).

Anyways, I was busy playing Skryim, and figured I’d take a little break to go wake Xannatos up from his nap and I had my Facebook page open.  Do you know what accosted me the moment I had alt-tabbed out of my game?  A smart-assed-cutsy pregnancy announcement from one of the girls I went to school with.  I immediately broke down.  Seriously, I’m still fighting back tears.  I know that it was inevitable that she would get pregnant, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they had been struggling with IF as she was very overweight (frankly, she was obese), but it was like someone threw a right hook at me – repeatedly.  She posted three pictures… one was of four separate pregnancy tests all showing positive results.  The next was a picture of her and her husband (also an old high school friend) holding up a a single sheet of paper with a giant and colorful ‘R’ on it and completing that pic was my friend holding up a Prego spaghetti sauce jar.  The last was a picture of just my friend holding the Prego jar. They were both clearly overjoyed and happy, but I couldn’t stop myself for hating them for just a moment.

I’ve never been faced with a Facebook Pregnancy Announcement, and you know what?  It really fucking sucks.  I’m so jealous that I’ll never be able to be that happy about being pregnant (should it happen again)… I’m jealous that they feel comfortable enough to post an announcement in the first place.  I hope for, and wish them, the best but at the same time I’m incredibly hurt.  I know that she’s not trying to hurt me (though she does know about my struggles, and we’ve talked about it before), but because she knows, it somehow makes the announcement more hurtful.



Published January 13, 2012 by Hemlock

I’ve been temporarily stalled in my exercise routine… to an extent.  The sorenes sin my hamstrings and my pelvis wasn’t going away, and I discovered why that was the case when I went to the chiropractor yesterday.

Apparently, I threw my lower back and hips out.  The most likely culprit was the Yoga I did.  I was so locked up that my chiropractor, we’ll call him Dr. Halo, was unable to get anything to move.  That’s saying something, too.  Dr. Halo is a very solidly build man.  So, I got some extra Stim, and a bit of a run on ‘The Rack’ before leaving.  Almost immediately, though, I was able to walk without pain, so I believe that I had some sort of  pinched nerve.

I was also instructed that I’m not 16 anymore, and that if I think I can do it, I probably can’t at this point!  Since I was so active in gymnastics and equestrian sports when I was younger, he expects that it won’t take me that long to get back to where I was, but I’m to do just standard stretching for the time being and work on getting my core strength back before I try the yoga again.  

So, it’s like exercise for a bit, and then back on to some harder stuff.  I’m kinda bummed, as I was finding that the exercise was doing a lot to lift my mood.  So, since I can’t really exercise, I’ve been listening to music and beebopping around the house.

OH!  For you Skyrim fans out there, I’m sure you’ve heard this already, but if not, you’ll like it!


This post about Easter is going to offend you…

Published April 24, 2011 by Hemlock

So, today is Easter.  Yup!  Today is the day that you will do one of three things:

1. You will celebrate the resurrection of the Messiah.
If that’s your sort of thing, today you will be celebrating the fact that a bunch of people sacrificed a human (or is he really human? I mean, maybe half human? He is the son of God and last I read He’s not human… anyways) sooooo perfect that he was able to be the Ultimate Sacrifice for everyone’s sins and then rise from the dead three days later (today, for those that are counting).

2. You will ply your children with loads of candy and then lie to them about it.
We seem to enjoy lieing to our youth, and then wonder where they learn to lie. When they’re younger, we tell them that there’s a giant man-sized Easter Bunny Stranger who sneaks into their home while they’re sleeping (or, as it happens, at church for the only time they’ll go that year) and gives them truck loads of candy. He may give it in a single basket, or he may hide it around any given location in fake plastic eggs. Last I remember from being a kid, I was told not to take candy from a stranger. Am I the only one who sees that the Easter Bunny has a bit of a Furry Fetish and enjoys little kids just a little too much?

3. Recognize that Jesus was actually a zombie.
Yes, I said it. I just haven’t decided who would be Patient Zero. I mean, Jesus performed a miracle by raising Lazarus of Bethany from the dead on Day 4. The question is, though, did Jesus somehow infect Lazarus or was Lazarus the first zombie and somehow infected Jesus?

In closing, I really hope that no matter what you feel, or believe, you have a wonderful day biting the heads off of chocolate baby Jesus’ and encouraging your children in the idea that it’s ok not to be afraid of that pedophile who enjoys being a Furry and having little children sitting on his lap so that he can keep pictures of them for later… Oh, and don’t forget to start your stockpile of food and weapons. I know my weapon of choice is a real Japanese Katana!  I’ve used a blade enough that I think I could use it effectively.

Does this post make me a Sub? What with all the humiliation and all….

Published February 22, 2011 by Hemlock

Nearly a month ago I announced that I would be making another attempt at losing weight. Well, I haven’t been so successful. Sure, I was pretty sick for the last two weeks with the flu, which didn’t want to go away, but that still means that there’s a couple of weeks when I could have been exercising.

So, to make another attempt at motivating myself, I’ve decided that public humilation is in order. Yes, I will post ALL of my stats. This means weight, and body measurements (and no, I didn’t cheat by sucking in my stomach, though I wish I had). I will not be posting any before and after pics as that’s just depressing and no one wants to see that. So, here we go!

All measurements/weight are with just undergarments as of 2-22-11:

  • Height: 5’2″
  • Weight: 139# (down from 142#)
  • Bust: 38.75″
  • Abdomen: 38.5″
  • Waist: 38″
  • Hips: 40″
  • Left Thigh: 23.5″
  • Right Thigh: 24″
  • Left Bicep: 11.75″
  • Right Bicep: 11.75″

I don't own this pic... it's just random but pretty close to what I was when I was at my worst.

Now, the only think I will be monitoring on a weekly basis will be my weight, but I’m going to try not to worry too much about it as it will vary depending on where I am in my cycle (yay for being a chick?), and if I’m actually managing to put on any muscle. I figure that every two weeks I’ll check inches. I’m also re-evaluating whether I need to worry so much about a goal weight so much as reducing my stomach. Courtesy of my PCOS, that’s where the bulk of my weight is, and it’s disgusting and will be the most difficult to lose.

At the same time, I need to worry about monitoring my food intake without triggering my Anorexia. That’s going to be very difficult. As it is, I’ve been up since about 10am and I haven’t eaten; not even candy or crackers… nothing. This is not a good sign for me. So, I’ll make myself some Top Ramen and make myself eat it, and try and get some fluids into me. I’ve gotten some juices for Xannatos, and I think I may just snag some of that to see if I can trigger my appetite and get some fluids into me. I’m really bad about my fluids and constantly run dehydrated. I just can’t stand water, though. Oh well, I’ll figure it out.

Part of me wonders if my struggles with getting motivated to lose weight stem out of my desire to avoid being anorexic again.  To be honest, it really scares me, and makes me wonder if I need to see someone to help me with the weight loss.  You know, like a nutritionist or something.  I dunno. I just really have issues, I guess.

Mike Rowe: Here’s to you!

Published December 9, 2010 by Hemlock

I’ve always had a lot of respect for Mike Rowe, host of the Discovery Channel’s Dirty Jobs. However, after the episode that premiered on December 7, 2010 titled “Custom Meat Processor” my respect for him has grown exponentially.

For those of you who don’t know what a Meat Processor is, it’s a Butcher. It’s just the more politically correct term. I was impressed by Mike because this particular Job he was on involved a Mobile Butcher. This is a person(s) who goes out to a location, usually a farm or ranch, and they perform the whole process that spans the butchering of the animal, dressing of the carcass, and then preparation of the various cuts of meat available on the individual animal.

What was amazing was the fact that Mike did the job from beginning to end. That’s right, he actually put the animal down, with a bullet to the head and then bled the animal out by cutting the jugular. They didn’t show much of that part out of respect for their more squeamish viewers, but we did hear the shot, and we saw the squirting blood. He did the most difficult part of the job, and he put his all into it.

Mike was very surprised at how much more humane this type of butchering was when compared to the gigantic processing plants we have.

Personally, I really feel that people need to see how their meat is processed from beginning to end. They have no respect for their food. So many people find it easy to just accept that their food comes pre-packaged from some farm where meat just grows pre-cut and in the package.

I’ve been fishing on and off for several years. I don’t really believe in catch and release as I feel if you’re going to cause harm to an animal, then you’d best have a reason for it. In my case, my intention is to eat what I catch. I kill my own fish, and it’s not always clean, but it is quick. My youngest sister killed her first fish when she was only 11 or 12 years old. Was it easy for her? No. Absolutely not. Matter of fact, it was a hard lesson learned.

You see, she didn’t understand why I clocked the fish on the back of it’s head, therefore severing the spinal cord. I tried explaining to her that it was the most humane way available to us in the field. When she finally felt ready to try killing her own food, she didn’t get it quite right, and she got scared. I took it from her and finished what she’d started.

On the next fish, she insisted that we simply remove it from the water like the other people she’d seen. I didn’t like doing this, but I understood that this was something that she needed to see. So, we let the fish pass away slowly outside of the water. When she saw it gasping, and suffocating to death, she almost cried. However, she looked at me and said that she understood. She killed the final fish of the day, and she took her job seriously. She now kills all of her own fish, and many of mine. She feels that it is her responsibility to ensure a quick passage from life to death for the animals she’s chosen to eat. As a side note, she also cleans all her own fish now. She’s getting very good at it and her dexterity with a knife increases every season.

I went through a similar experience the first time I acquired rabbit for myself and one of our dogs (she was fed raw). There’s a woman who raises meat rabbits about a 40 minute drive from where we live. I purchased 3 rabbits, and I chose all 3. I insisted on watching the butchering and bleeding process. When the first two were done, I also insisted on killing the last one. If I was going to eat these animals, and use their hides, by God I was going to look the animal in the eye and give it the respect of dying by my hand.

You know what? That was some of the best meat I’ve ever had. I’m sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that they were fed a good quality feed, and were treated well. However, I also think that because I’d had a hand, though a minimal one, in the preparation of my food it tasted better.

Was it harder to butcher the rabbit than the fish? Yes, it was. I’ve always thought of fish as unthinking and simply a food source. With the rabbit, though, I had one as a pet as a child; her name was Dusty. Yet, these rabbits had been raised for food.

I know a lot of vegans are going to be horrified by my post, but the fact of the matter is that plants also emit a distress call when cut, or pulled out of the ground (two studies can be found here, and here).

I don’t eat much meat, but I do eat it. I think it’s very important to know where your meat comes from, and once I’ve have the ability, I will do my darnedest to either raise my own or procure my meat from a source I desire to support.

Grammar Nazi? Yes, most likely.

Published November 9, 2010 by Hemlock

Tonight, I discovered that it is possible to overuse italics,bolds, CAPS, and any combination of the three.

I read a blog tonight that made it onto Freshly Pressed. It looked interesting at first, but as I read further in I found that something about this writer reminded me about some highschool ditz from the Valley. I’m serious. It finally dawned on me, about halfway through, that the cause for this was her overt use of CAPS, italics, an bolds. I kid you not that there was one of the three, if not all three, in a single sentence; and often times they occurred multiple times.

I was even more horrified when I discovered that she is a journalist. I hope to God that she doesn’t write her articles the way she writes her blog posts. If she does, then her editor(s) really needs to take a look at themselves and make sure they know what they’re doing.

I would probably consider myself a Grammar Nazi, but I’m not obsessive about it. Yes, some things really bug me, and I will correct it if I see it. However, I try not to offer unsolicited advice and corrections. It’s just not my place. Ask for my help, and I’ll give it gladly.

It just really bugged me to see that this girl clearly thought it was ok to write like that. I mean, one of the first things you learn about writing and voice is that CAPS, italics, and bold are used as ephasis only and that they can be overused; particularly CAPS and bolds as they are very aggressive.

Dunno if I’m just overreacting, but I feel that it’s important to consider these things from the simple fact that if they become habitually overused they begin to lose their meaning and that is not ok at all.